I always get comments like – “Is he with ADHD? doesn’t look like one. Is he really hyperactive? He can follow your orders and sit still” To be able to answer these sort of questions, one must be tough mom! Seriously.
How can he sit still during meal time? What does he do while travelling? How do you engage with him? How do you make him listen to the coach? Can he play along with the other kids?
I must tell you, it takes endless Doa/prayers plus patience and training to be able to make an ADHD boy toned down. Last night his therapist messaged me while we were having supper at a local coffee store. “Seronok tengok Azfar macam anak tipikal (membaca sementara menunggu meal)”
I am a fierce mom?- YES, I am; or maybe not BUT I am being strict with Azfar. Discipline is everything when dealing with ADHD/ASD boy I suppose. Alhamdulillah, Praise to the Almighty Allah, we have no problem bringing him to hair salon for his haircut, no problem doing grocery shopping, no problem at all while visiting dentist! My routine for him pays.
Set the example– What if he refused to brush his teeth? I get down on my knees and hold his jaws and I do the brushing back then.
Social stories– Let them know what to expect when going to a mall, what to do, what NOT to do, what do I expect from him? What to expect at the hair salon, the dentist.
Remind, remind and remind–I personally think you can’t stop reminding what do you want from him/expect. After a while you will notice that he can knows what is expected from him. I’ll give you an example of our normal situation going to a mall (conversation translated to English):
I: We are going to Giant (a mall)..We are going to get some groceries and who ever behaves well will get something special from me!!
Kids: YAY!! can we get toys/bubbles/pens/art papers???
Azfar (prompted in a very firm tone): Remember Hakeem, no running, no fooling around. Do you understand?!!!
So, you see..when you keep on saying the things you expect from them, they will be! I must admit, he sometimes behave better comparing to ‘typical’ kids.
Endless encouragement– I am still learning the difference between encouragement and pushing to the limits. Whatever the term is, I find that encouragement can bring miracles to you. Simple word can bring joy to your child. ” Great job! high 5 please” , “Wow!!” “Fuyyo, great work”, ” Beautifully done”, etc.
Although we all know that there are rooms for improvement but, they deserve encouragements prior commenting 🙂
Rewards and punishments-Knowing how he loves Westin Langkawi Spa & Resort, we make it official. We announced that before the year ends, the whole family will again visit Westin Langkawi. But, that doesn’t come easy.My husband and I keep repeating this thing every single time Azfar requested for Langkawi. To us, everything must be a win-win situation.
” Azfar nak pergi Langkawi dak? Solat tak boleh tinggal…Mesti rajin pergi sekolah, rajin pergi terapi, tennis mesti ikut cakap coach, tak boleh lari-lari, mesti berlatih, mesti bersunat”
Translated: Azfar, do you want to go to Langkawi? If you want, you must make sure to complete prayers 5 times daily, you will have to go to school, therapies and tennis lessons. You cannot play around and you must also do the circumcision.
My advice, do it continuously and consistency. Although some say, miracles happen overnight, but in my case it doesn’t happen that way.